What is the oddest character you have ever dreamed up, and how did they fit into a story?
I really had to think about this one. Would it be the ancient Mayan mummy, who'd been alive for thousands of years, and who barely resembled a human anymore? Would it be the Fussy French boss of the architect in Love By Design? Or would it be the uber-independent sexy female journalist in Analysis of Love, who falls in love with a blind man who can't even see her sexiness? But then thinking of her always pains me, because a reviewer once said that she disliked the book because she didn't l like the heroine. Since I made her quite a bit like I was when I was young and single, that was kind of offensive. Then I remembered my red-headed biker queen with the enormous tits from my Minnesota Romance series.(currently out of print, as are my Mayan vampire books...but I'm working on it! Leaning toward self-publishing.)
Yeah, she's got to be the oddest character I ever dreamed up. In my younger days, I rode a Harley a few times, not always as a passenger. I'm covered in tattoos. And I've always been a kind of brassy, loud female. I was much worse when I was younger. And it wasn't very hard for me to imagine being a woman with a voracious appetite for men! But if odd means not normal, not your average woman, then meet Alexandra Blackwell.
She was a bit part player in For the Love of His Life, my first Minnesota Romance, which some readers consider my best book.
When the biker queen learns that the famous action movie star Raul Roderick, is hanging out in a small bar in Grand Marais, Minnesota, she and her gang ride there to find him and get him to let her sample what he, and all of the females he's bedded, refer to as Big Rod. He's busy trying to drown his bodily pains with doubles in the bar.
Suddenly the door was slammed open, hitting the wall behind it, and a tidal wave of bikers made their way into the bar. Some of the men strode quickly over to the bar and Tom hustled over to pour them multiple pitchers of beer. Some of them scouted out the few empty tables and picked them up or pushed them around until they had made themselves a long table with almost enough chairs for all of them. The women who were with them made their way over to the table slowly, taking the measure of the people around them. One of the women, a tall, stunning redhead, most of her skin covered with tattoos, wearing a black leather bra and skin-tight jeans shorts, along with high-heeled sandals, strode over to a table to talk to the young couple sitting there.
"What chu lookin' at, honey?" she asked the man in with a drawl. "Ain't you never seen a woman with big tits before?" She laughed as she leaned over, making sure that if he hadn't seen her cleavage before, he was sure seeing it now.
The man blushed and the woman looked angry as she got up, leaving her wine glass half-full on the table. "I think it's time we get on home, Billy. The babysitter can't be out that late or her Mom won't let her sit for us again."
The biker woman looked her up and down then laughed rudely. "That's right, Billy. You just go along now and have some vanilla fun with the little woman when you get home. Don't go making any noise though. It'll wake the baby and then you'll have to wait until next week for another chance!"
Some of the other bikers joined her in laughing at her words. Billy got up and took his wife's elbow to lead her out of the bar. As they walked past a particularly big, burly and bearded man in a black leather vest with chains on it, he leaned over and growled then barked at the woman. She jumped and squeaked, Billy glared at him, then they hurried past him to get out quickly.
The woman who had started the trouble now waved and some men moved over to grab the two chairs and bring them over to the long table they had made. She walked over to sit and grabbed one of the beer glasses, filled it from a pitcher and chugged it down before she refilled it. Then she began to look around for someone else to cause trouble with.
After the gang chases out all of the regulars, they keep the bartender, Tom, busy filling pitchers of beer for them. Sitting at the bar, Raul tries not to be noticed, but the biker babe finds him and tells him what she wants from him, while giving him a lap-dance. Raul tries to make an escape.
Raul tried to stand up. "Lady, I already told you, I'm too tired. I came in here to get drunk enough to sleep and I'm there now. You caught me on a bad night. Any other night and I'd be glad to make you scream until you were hoarse. But not tonight, okay? I'm too drunk to perform up to my usual standards."
The red-head backed off of him, sputtering in her anger.
"Did you all hear that? This mother-fucker thinks he's too good for me! He's just insulted your queen by turning down the fuck of his life. Are you going to let him get away with that? Or are we gonna tie him down somewhere? If he can get hard, I get to fuck him. If he can't, you all get to beat the fuck out of him. Sound fair, boys?"
Suddenly there was an ominous sound as Tom clicked the safety latch off of the rifle he had pulled out from under the bar. "This has gone far enough, people. You came in here and chased all of my regulars out. I was willing to let that go. But now you are harassing my favorite movie star. That has got to stop! I've already called the cops so they will be here soon and you can plead your case to them."
He kept staring at the redhead. "Raul, I suggest you get going now."
So, what do you think? Does this suggest to you that she has to be the heroine in my next romance novel? No? It didn't to me, either. Until I wrote the epilogue for the book. A friend of Raul's sends his cousin, also an ex-KGB agent, to make sure the drug dealers who've hounded Raul, realize they should never contact him again. And since the biker queen threatened to someday get what she wants from him, Dmitri pays her a visit also.
And when the marketing and advertising executive Alexandra Blackstone was visited in her Minneapolis office by a man with a heavy Russian accent who said he was surprised to find the fiery red-headed queen of a biker gang wearing a business suit, no parts of her body were dislocated, though some of her office furniture was ruined. When her secretary returned from lunch, she was alarmed by the noises she heard from the office, but wisely refrained from interrupting.
Soon after that, Ivan got a text from his cousin:
Will not be returning to BWCA. Attempting to tame a wildcat.
Wish me luck.
But that is a story for another time.
Odd enough for you? The red-headed bitch biker queen became the heroine in the next book. Hey, even biker babes deserve a chance at love and happiness, right? And she learns that: Only One Man Will Do.
I'm working on learning how to self-publish. When I do, the Minnesota Romances will be my first ones out. Wish me luck!
To read about the next person's oddest character, head to:
Judith Copek http://lynx-sis.blogspot.com/